Saturday, July 31, 2010

The Value of a Nemesis

Even those of us who are naturally comical occasionally find reasons for depression, and tonight I lament my own reason for my current sadness: the loss of my nemesis. Before I explain about her, I would like to explain the concept of valuing a nemesis at all.

Since I was but a tot, I can remember being dramatic. The phrase drama queen had not been coined at the time of my birth, which was fortunate or it might have ended up being my first and middle name. I'm quite sure I came out of the womb with a top hat and cane to announce my own victory over the birth canal. Somewhere during my childhood, I discovered that I might not get along with everybody all the time and when this would happen, I assumed my only choice was to make those people my sworn enemies for life. While I recognize now that it requires way too much energy to do this with everyone, coupled with the fact that occasionally its me who turns out to be the ass in a situation, I no longer see this as my only option. I do still, however, usually manage to find that one person in my life that I dislike to the extent of calling them my nemesis. Most of the time, due to simple convenience, these will be co-workers.

I think there are several reasons that I find having a nemesis so appealing. First and foremost, finding fault with someone else all the time affirms your own judgments about behaviors, standards and morals. I spend a lot of time tolerating 99.9 percent of people's transgressions, helping them no matter how deplorable their behavior, and I need that one person to actually despise, perhaps. I am employed to help the most unfortunate in our society, so its possible I feel that someone I consider to be equal to myself in education and opportunity is fair game for criticism. Whatever the case, I have had a nemesis at most points my whole working career. Its exciting, motivational, and fun for me. It provides me with an arena in which to be very dramatic, and probably makes me a better worker due to my own competitiveness.

While I usually have chosen an attorney or doctor to be my nemesis, at my current job it was a fellow worker in my main office. This was a new job for both of us, and she had never done any type of social work before. From the first week of employment, she apparently decided she did not like me and when she proceeded to make my life a living hell, I cheered myself up by saying to myself "Wait a minute... NEMESIS, yeah baby, got one already!" She was quite the adversary too. She was intelligent, hmm. Well, I guess thats all. She was intelligent. I was going to list all her good traits but that's it. Now for the bad ones: arrogant, judgmental, shallow, materialistic, stubborn, inconsiderate, rude, obnoxious, self-centered, mean, crazy, pig-headed, obsessively compulsive, borderline-borderline, ridiculously oppressive. I think that about covers it. She was an ultra-conservative republican who obsessed over the abuse of the welfare system, doing social work. I swear I'm not making that up.

In any case, it was the first time that having a nemesis actually almost became unproductive for me. It got to the point that she infuriated me on a daily basis, and it wasn't long before she had infuriated others in the office as well. I spent every day for the last month waiting for her to quit or get fired, but when she finally quit this week I found myself actually feeling a little bad. As if I willed it to happen. I mean, I did, but I'm not so naive to think that my wishes actually have the capacity to affect reality. (My sister really does think that she can cause bad things to happen to others by thinking badly of them, but thats another blog)

It was for the best. She really had no stomach for social work and now will not have any opportunities to make children or grown men cry and hate us all. I'm going to miss her though, and that adorable little way she used to spew hate everywhere. So I say to you, fellow nemesis collectors, value your nemesis while they are still around to be the object of your critique. Recognize what they add to your life, and how because they exist, you don't have to be so critical of everyone else.

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